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Ideas Have Consequences

I have been writing about all object boundaries being semi-permeable in a more concentrated way recently and the development of these ideas has begun to effect how I experience the world and myself in an interesting way. Several days after writing

We live in a world of touch, embedded in partial awareness of the parts, and the whole, touching and exchanging through semi-permeable boundaries of all kinds. Through touch, boundary permeability, and exchange, we know and are known. Individual consciousness arises in this context. Things touch therefore we are. We touch therefore I am.

I realized that any object is not 1 thing but more than one one thing because it is participating in an array of ongoing exchange relationships with other objects in its sphere of touch relations. This flash of insight was accompanied with a surge of delight and a new tacit sense of the world around me and myself as not being bound by the hard boundary of the limit of 1. Instead of exclusively looking out toward an external world and participating in it, I was now participating in a world that was looking at and participating in me as well.

The feeling of delight was associated with a release from a conceptual container that prevented my awareness of co-participation between myself as being more than 1, and everything I am aware of being more than 1. Consciously knowing my co-participation with all the other more than 1''s also was associated with a shift in perceptual direction away from an exclusively from inside my personal boundary to outside mode of perceiving, by adding a mode of perceiving that seems like it comes from the world of objects outside my boundary toward me and selectively into me through my own boundary semi-permeability. Consciousness takes on a different character in that I sense a knowing of and a being known by at the same time. This is hard to explain because my words are tied to a history of mostly seeing the world from inside to outside my own personal boundary.

An example might help make the language problem clear. I run on a trail where I pass a particularly impressive oak tree. I usually stop there and stretch because I really like this tree. Prior to the insight that lead to my new way of perceiving things I would think of that tree as my favorite tree, my tree in a sense. After beginning to perceive my relationship with the world as omni-bidirectional I began to realize that the language I had to describe the tree forced either a possessive or an completely disembodied non relational representation of the trees reality. For a few days I couldn''t come up with a way of wording a new sense of relationship with that tree. After a while it occurred to me that I am one of that trees humans and that tree is one of my trees. My sense of proportion also began to change, and for this I have no language change that works other than description. Now that I am percieving things differently the world of objects that I relate to in the immediate sphere of my awareness seem in total to be very large and to be giving me a huge sum of living inputs while I seem small relative to the world of interrelating objects of which I am a part. Previously when mostly percieving from inside to outside I had seemed larger and less related things.

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