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Meditating on Intouchness

I have been meditating recently in an attempt to provide a ritual, some time and attention, to nourish my transition from an identity that confines self to the separate sense of self abstracted from nature to a sense of self that is not separate from nature. What has made sense to me is to focus on the sense of being in a relationship of touch with all of my experience whether traditionally viewed as inner or outer. Intouchness isn’t a real word as far as I know but it is the word that comes to mind when I try to capture the sense of holding all of my life as the experience of nature.

When I am nature the value and meaning of experience changes. Everything is the same in its value and no thing defines a separate self, or a sense of personal identity that holds what is inside my boundary of skin as not part of what is outside my boundary of skin. When viewing all of my experience as equally valid and non self defining the sense of relationship to all experience, continually changing as it is, is that of touch. All things I am aware of are touching each other in some way where all are reciprocally inter penetrating and effecting each other. All of this is me and the sense of this, as far as I am aware of it, is that all of it is communicated through touch relations. By touch I don’t mean the tactile sense of skin alone, but that in the entire sense of awareness what is known is the knowledge imparted through the action of all things touching each other and effecting each other. Part of this touching is the passing of energy and matter across the semi-permeable boundaries of things, another part of it is the awareness of touch and the matter and energy that doesn’t pass across a boundary but is known in terms of its contact with an object boundary, the third aspect of touch is the totality of information that is communicated through touch. Additionally this process of touch is multi directional and dynamic in the ways that reciprocity of touch changes everything all the time.

In meditating on intouchness I am able to experientially explore my experience without attributing an exclusive separate self to any aspect of my experience. Touch values all experience the same, as everything interrelates and nothing is truly separable from the total process of touch. Abandoning the idea that some things are nature and some things not, some things living and some things not, somethings are my self and some things not I am then able to move in the totality of the sense of the intouchness of everything. This feels just right and meditation seems to be a way of noticing the intouchness of all things and to strengthen my sense of that process as the primary activity of my living. Realizing that I am nature, not apart from it, not for it or against it, and that nature is all inclusive (not just comprised of the things that are obviously alive) opens up the sense of intouchness and the sense of intoucnness reinforces the understanding that I am nature.

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